


Stay to the End

by Solanaceae



Series: Femslash Friday [2]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/F, Femslash Friday, does it count as femslash if one party is a hallucination of the other, i think it does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 03:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solanaceae/pseuds/Solanaceae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clove/Glimmer in a hallucinatory sort of way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay to the End

The first flash of gold stung Glimmer on the back of her left hand, and she stared at it blankly for several long seconds (three heartbeats - count them) as her skin swelled and reddened around the jagged black stinger, something clear oozing out and red heat spreading down her wrist.

Then the air was filled with terrified screams, and she might have scrambled to her feet as the fire pricked her again and again, neck and calf and arm and face, the air alive with furious buzzing. Somewhere through the haze of gold and black there was a flash of dark hair, and she reached for it.

"Clove!"

She wanted to believe that the District Two girl turned even for a second, that the thought of staying and helping did more than cross her mind but there was only the snapping of branches as she sank to her knees, hands battering uselessly at the swarm around her. White-hot lightning tore at her skin as her fingers stiffened and eyelids swelled, narrowing her world to twin slits of buzzing gold.

Someone screamed, and she wasn't sure if the sound was torn from her own throat but she did know how long it took for them to leave her there, alone (ten heartbeats). She did not, however, know how long it took for the buzzing to fade, for the flashes of fire to be replaced by a slow burn under her skin, because her heart had sped to a tumbling, uneven pace and she couldn't keep track anymore.

She lay there, amid the leaves, every inch of her alight with raw pain, jagged streaks of light swarming her narrowed world. Somehow, somewhere, she thought she heard footsteps.

"Glimmer."

She couldn't turn her head, could only stare straight up at the blue sky, the trees arching overhead.

"Glimmer, can you hear me?"

Her lips formed a word. It might have been  _yes_.

"You know, I think you're dying." A rustle as she knelt beside her, a flash of black hair. She tried to move her head again, found that her neck could swivel a few inches to either side. Letting her head loll sideways, she caught a glimpse of a frowning, cold-eyed face - Clove.

"Are you–" Her mouth was too dry, her tongue swelling in her throat, choking her. Clove seemed to understand.

"Of course I didn't come back. D'you think I'm crazy or something?" She let out a short, harsh laugh. "You're not worth it, Glimmer. No one's worth my life."

"Then... how?" Her heart was slowing down again, the individual beats becoming discernible again.

"Tracker jackers. Hallucinations, remember? Maybe you get to see whatever you want. How should I know?" Clove leaned closer, a smile curving her lips. Somehow, on her face, it didn't seem friendly, more... predatory. Glimmer had noticed that, the first time she saw her. "Am I what you want to see, Glimmer?"

"Yes," she said, forcing the word out, speaking the truth for once - a novel experience. It didn't matter now, after all - this was not Clove, she was dying now, it would all be over very soon. She might as well not hide anymore, even if she was only speaking to the empty air.

(She counted again, one heartbeat, two heartbeats, and wondered how much longer she had.)

Clove made a noise of amusement, a glint of steel in her eyes. "And why would that be, huh? Why me, of all the people you've known in your life? Surely you have someone better than the killer from District Two who wouldn't even stay to watch you die."

She would have shrugged, if her body had still been responding to the signals her brain insisted on sending it. "It's... better that way, I suppose." It was easier to talk now, though the pain elsewhere (everywhere) was only increasing.

"Hm." Clove sat back suddenly, casting a glance over Glimmer's ravaged body. "Y'know, I think I like you more like this. Not so pretty. A lot more vulnerable. Because you never were as weak as you pretended you were, were you?"

"Why ask me?"  _And you, who never were vulnerable and never pretended to be - was that nice?_

"Well, there's no point in asking  _me_. I'm just a product of your imagination, aren't I? Not really here at all." She touched her face, and Glimmer couldn't feel her through the swelling bumps there - or perhaps it was because Clove  _wasn't there_ , was only a dream, insubstantial and fading. "Does this hurt?"

She nodded, feeling the fire swell within her, eating its way inwards from her skin. She felt  _transparent_ , somehow, as though the pain were shining through her skin, burning her clean, melting her to clear glass.

"The tracker jackers are created to make you feel fear... are you afraid, Glimmer?"

She had to think about it before she answered. "Not yet. Or not anymore, maybe." There was a pause, and Clove's eyes found hers, burning dark in her pale face.

(Two heatbeats)

"You should be afraid. You're dying."

"Are you - are  _you_  afraid of death?"

Clove shrugged, smile falling away. "I suppose everyone is, deep down."

 _Then why did we volunteer?_  "I think... I think you're afraid. And that's why you ran."

"And you weren't, and so you stayed?" Clove snorted, rolling her eyes. "Twisted logic, there. I think it's just that you were too  _dumb_  to run away."

"...perhaps." She didn't feel like arguing anymore, not when she wasn't entirely sure what she was arguing for, or what they had even just been talking about. She closed her eyes (two heartbeats), red blossoming in the darkness, and opened them to see if Clove was still there. She was.

"Feeling tired yet?"

She shook her head - not tired, no, just... weightless. Like she was drifting up into the sky, buoyed by a cloud of golden pain, lightning slashing at every inch of her skin.

"You can take your time dying, y'know. I'm not really here, and you have the rest of your life." Clove laughed at her own joke, a mirthless sound like ice breaking. Glimmer felt her eyes unfocusing and forced them back to the District Two girl.

"Did you - were you ever in love with Cato?"

Clove frowned, eyes sharpening. "Why do you care?"

"Were you?"

(Pause - three heartbeats.)

"I... I suppose I could've been, if things had happened differently. We were friends, you know." Clove's face was thoughtful now, eyes focused on the ground by Glimmer's right ear. "But no one here wants to die, so that doesn't matter now." Can't matter now, if we don't want to die, she didn't say, but that much was obvious.

_And if you're already dying?_

"Why did you care?" Clove asked, and if this had been real and if Glimmer hadn't been dying she might have considered lying, retreating behind the glittering mask she always wore, but none of this was happening and so she was safe.

"I'd have thought that was obvious," she replied, feeling her heart stutter - not many beats left, not much time.

"Well. Perhaps." Clove leaned forward, hair falling over her face and brushing Glimmer's swollen neck. "This  _is_  your fantasy, you know, so I could say whatever you want."

"But what would you say without me?" For some reason, it mattered - mattered that this not-Clove give her an answer to the question that had burned in the back of her mind since she saw the dark-haired girl from Two vault onto the stage and smile, wolf-like, at the cameras.

_Why did you make it so easy to get caught up in your cruel laughter, the shine of your knives, the way your eyes flashed when you thought about killing me and everyone else? What is it about you–_

"I would laugh. And turn away." Clove smiled at her. "And then kill you later for daring to think you had some kind of claim on me, for daring to  _desire_  me. And you would let me kill you, because you would know you  _deserved_  it."

Her tongue darted out to wet paper-dry lips, eyes drifting shut and opening again. The light was nearly blinding, and she wondered why she hadn't noticed that before - how terribly  _bright_  everything was.

"But I'm already dying," she pointed out.

"True."

Her heart stopped beating for a whole second, then sputtered back to life again, but there was a feeling of a hole within her, an empty space where there should have been movement - and that feeling remained.

"So what do you want me to say?" Clove asked. "That I cared about you for even a second? That the thought of me staying with you as you died was ever more than a worthless dream of yours?"

She shook her head, lifted a clumsy, swollen hand to touch Clove's face, expecting no resistance from the empty air. Clove drew back, pushing her hand down to the ground, and Glimmer wasn't sure whether it was her own weakness or an actual touch that made her arm thud back down.

"Would you rather I killed you with my own hand, then? Put you out of your misery? That'd be a bit hard, considering the fact that I'm not actually here."

_Tell me it's okay to give up. Tell me it's okay to die._

"One question." Her right eye was on fire, flames licking at the corners of her vision, and the left was darkening, a shadow-grey pall over everything except Clove's face. "Do you want me to wait for you on the other side, Clove?"

"If that's what you want." She sounded almost bored, but her hand crept up to Glimmer's face, brushing back the hair that fell over her bleeding forehead.

(One heartbeat)

"I think – I think that's what I want."

Unexpectedly, Clove smiled and leaned forward, brushing her lips against Glimmer's, a feather-light touch that she felt even through the fire wrapping about her, sinking into her bones.

"Wait for me, then. But you're not doing it because I need you to."

Clove's face was brightening, glowing as though lit from within. Everything else was pitch black, Clove the only source of light, like a star, like the sun.

"I'll see you soon," she whispered through swollen lips, closing her eyes, Clove's smile a glowing imprint on the back of her eyelids, her touch a fading warmth on her hand.

(One heartbeat... and silence)


End file.
